I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
