i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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