ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
