also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
