Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
