no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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