i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
