I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
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