so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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