are you so shy because you have an std?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
