you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
pop tarts are not kleenex
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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