If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize