Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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