Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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