cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
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