Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
