let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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