on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
