He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize