just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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