i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
