are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
