when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
