she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
i've created a new STD.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
