I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize