i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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