She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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