my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
