the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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