My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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