True but thats because hes a fetus.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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