I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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