Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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