I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
id be glad to
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
