you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
zippers are such a cool invention
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
