You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
