he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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