I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
