Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize