Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
