He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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