ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
