first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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