that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Damn victory sex feels great
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
