This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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