she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
