Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
