I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Randomize