can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Randomize