...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
