Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
