??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
