Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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