I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
