the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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