And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
